This article was first published on my Examiner Relationship Column.
Relationships require one vital component and it’s communication between the persons involved in the relationship. Lack of communication in a relationship can end the relationship over time. The issues with relationships aren’t only the actions but the fact that both parties don’t have a clear understanding of each other. Here are five tips for getting the communication flowing again.
1. Have a night of confessions. This needs to be a night where there is no one around, but the two in the relationship. The night can range from very sad to very upsetting, but it needs to happen. I usually suggest a night at a local Atlanta restaurant or café but the circumstances may lead to yelling and arguing. I suggest that whatever is confessed be taken in and decisions to remain a couple or take a break should happen after two days of rationalizing the relationship. Often times, when two people aren’t getting what they want they travel outside of the realm of a relationship whether it’s from texting other people or dating other people. Take this confession night to completely wipe the slate and start new. Do not hold any secrets back because those secrets will hurt worst after the night of confessions.
2. Re-evaluate the relationship. Couples need to sit together and discuss if being a couple is still conducive for both of them. The couple needs to communicate to the other what makes them happy and what is making them unhappy in the relationship. If this step never happens the confession night will not work and will be a waste of tears and understanding. Each person needs to take a moment to EXPRESS how they truly feel while in a relationship with the person and how it can help if something happens or stays the same.
3. Don’t dismiss personal actions. Relationships are not for one person to only blame the other person because even if it’s nothing big both parties are guilty for the lack of communication. It is best to sit and ponder the actions taken on a person’s behalf and forget about what the partner did because people are only responsible for self and no one else. People jump down one another’s throat playing the blame game when it’s unnecessary; worry about self first.
4. Apologize. The biggest misconception when two people are arguing and having lack of communication is that the person that apologizes first is the guilty party, but that’s false. The person that apologizes is the mature adult in the situation and shows signs of improvement in the relationship. It shows the partner that they have accepted the situation yet are willing to work on a resolution.
5. Forgive. Forgive and move on from the negativity that dwelled in the relationship and start new. Set a goal to always confess when there is an issue and strive to work it out amongst each other.
Relationships aren’t for weak-minded individuals it’s for the individuals who have an understanding of self and have opened their minds and hearts to going through life with a person who has their own things going on as well. If these five steps aren’t working then it’s best to contact Dr. Shatavia A. Thomas for relationship and marriage counseling. She will give you third party clarity and help you to discover where the issues began.
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