All My Single Ladies: Sad or Lucky?

single ladies

Beyoncé started up a war between women not willing to settle and women settling when she produced the hit song “Single Ladies” flashing her new wedding ring and encouraging all the single ladies to recognize that if he appreciates all he has he will put a wedding ring on it. Now I’m not going to say that her song inspired a nation of single women to step it up, but it did put the idea in their minds that they weren’t going to settle for just anything with just any old guy.

When an idea is placed in the mind of an abled body individual there’s no telling what great things that person may end up altering for the betterment of them. If you read any of the works I put out than you must know how I feel about standing up for what you want and not settling for less in any area of your life. While I was riding from Marietta to Stone Mountain with the love of my life, I turned my radio up to listen to Hot 107.9’s CoryB and his views on women and giving up their cookies. I cannot quote word for word what he said, but essentially it was that women shouldn’t wait for more than three days before having sex with a man. Men need to see if the “box” is good  and if it is don’t make it weird asking questions like ‘why are you acting weird?’ just be cool. If the “box” isn’t good then he’s out.

Are women really expected to give up their bodies after three days of fake ass conversation without courting of any kind? And moreover, are there women really dropping their panties after only three days? if so, let me say this now: I’m sorry for all these single ladies in the world especially in my city Atlanta. I’m not saying that you have to wait ninety days to give it up, but all these women that are single and speak as if they want to find their better half and their soul mates will not find that man but bustin’ it wide open. I used to find myself in situations where I felt like I had to give in to temptation because we were “chilling”  in the house, but then I realized that it’s in my PANTIES and I can say no feeling no kind of way.

Being single is a time for you to find yourself, explore dating options, have sex with a special guy or two while your young and naïve, but not frivolous uncontrollable sex. I think it’s sad that women are even expected to give it up so that men can damn near test drive or taste test the “box” for the hell of it. Women are always dogged for wanting and desiring money and material things from men but men are overlooked for expecting women to just give up sexual favors without even taking them to dinner. Really? I feel sorry for the single women if this is what the dating market is like.

Everyone speaks up about being a strong black woman and how single women are lucky because they don’t have a person questioning them, controlling them, and yaddy yah. Let me say this, in this generation being separated from a strong black man and vice versa is what we are supposed to be doing, it’s the “cool” thing to do, but I disagree. Being a single black woman that is exploited by hypersexualized commercials, shows, videos and now  strong black men doesn’t make strong black women lucky. It makes them slaves to society and to stupid expectations from miserable radio veejays with nothing better to say!

This article was first published on my relationship column at


4 thoughts on “All My Single Ladies: Sad or Lucky?

  1. We as women need 2 learn how to love ourselves first.When we can’t stand to be alone,it means that we don’t value the only companion we’ve had from the beginning of our lives,and will have to the end,ourselves.When you love yourself,you can attract others who’ll love you to.I happen to be one of the lucky in love,and my husband saw the love and respect that I had for myself,which drew him to me.I was never one that felt like I needed a man to make me feel whole.I enjoyed life,and I did me.The few men that I was with before my husband seemed like they were trying to hold me back.Like that old saying goes.You came into this world without one,and your going to leave without one.This is just my opinion,but to each his own.

    • I agree with what you are saying. I was single for a year before I engaged in the relationship I’m in. This article is not about women needing men it’s about the state of single women being up under men giving up Coochie n how nobody has the audacity to speak upon it. As stated in my article I am all about empowering self and self love so I’ve written about being alone and getting to know self. But this society is pushing against what we were put here for to find a great mate and not hoe. But that’s neither here nor there but please don’t think I don’t support single and responsible women who handle business and don’t rely on anyone because I believe in love and self love. Thank you Sofia I hope you read more from me

  2. I also agree with what you were saying,and understood what the topic was about,but maybe I didn’t interpret what I meant the right way.I just flew off the handle when I read the first few paragraphs,and the stupid comment about what that ignorant DJ said about his idea of how soon a woman should give up the coochie so a dude can know whether she’s worth keeping or not.That’s why I was saying.As women we should have love and respect for ourselves,and always carry ourselves like ladies so that a man won’t have those expectations,and will automatically know to respect us as one.Keep him waiting until you’re ready, and hopefully he’ll respect you,and if he doesn’t wait, then he doesn’t respect you and you’ll know that he’s not worth it.Everyone wants to be loved and have that special someone to share their life with,but you wanna spend your life with someone who makes you happy,and not someone you have to impress.If he’s into you just because your good in bed,and not anything else that you might have to offer.Then you’re better off being single until someone who loves you for you comes along.This is my perspective for all my single sistahs out there.

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