It was a rainy day outside and of course, I had to go into my “Mary Jane” stash. Erykah Badu blasted through the speakers and as I begin to vibe to the music, I received a text message. It was him. He had been the only man who was holding me back from settling down and retiring my exploration for the perfect man for Ms. Marie.
I closed my eyes and remembered him:
“Teach me the difference between you and another woman,” He spoke.
“What do you mean?”
“You always talking that ying yang about being the only Carinda Marie and there aren’t many women left in the world as great as you are,” He smiled.
“I can teach you one thing right now. I require three things from my man.”
“What are your three requirements?”
“These requirements are as follows: There is consistent loyalty. There is open and honest communication. There will be orgasms when we lie with each other.”
“Is that right?” He bit his lip and gently tugged at the hair on his chin. “I can do that.” He opened his prize sliding panties down to the brown sugar colored ankles. He admired the peach in his face. His ran his tongue over the clit and examined her facial expression as she sucked in air, arching her back.
“What? I have the first two requirements down right?” He smiled.
“I see that I have to fill the last requirement.” His mouth covered the peach completely exiting any strategic juicing method aside from him swallowing. He buried his face in it…and tasted it… and caressed it with his whole mouth… released it while it released it.
With him we never had anything to fight over until now. The last time we saw one another I rode him like he had been away to Afghanistan. I rode him like there was no tomorrow or the day after. I made filet mignon, asparagus, and baked this man a pie. We talked about what type of mother I would be and what kind of father he desired being for his own child. He left me that night and we would go on with our business.
But this rainy day, he sent me text message: Miss Marie, I must see you now. I was fresh out of the shower, sitting in a large sweater, wet curls, and panties. My house was clean. My heart was open and my noni was just as wet as it was outside. I replied: It’s open. Within 10 minutes, he walked through my door and slammed it shut behind him. He threw his things down and pulled his shirt over his head and asked me, “Woman, you miss me?” I smiled at this black man and thought of what I needed to say to him.
“Yes, I miss you,” Is all I could say back. He ripped off my clothes and his as well, and before he entered my body like I needed my man to do…I had to let my man know that I wanted him to be my man.
“I need more than this.”
“I’m giving you all of me.”
“You are giving me portions. Every now and again.”
“You’ve been down this long.”
“I was a girl and now I am a woman. I have no desire to fuck a whole bunch of different people and I don’t want to build a disloyal and dismantled home.”
“I’m not sure if I’m ready to let it all go right now. I have a lot riding on this money that’s coming in.”
“Then it’s bittersweet. I have to ask you to leave.”
“This shit isn’t supposed to happen to us. We are always going to be together.”
“You said you love me. Prove it.” Without anything else to say he left my house and I cried myself to sleep.
I may be a lot of things, but a fool for a person not willing to bend or commit—I can’t do that.