None of your Friend’s Business
“Monica, I cannot take it anymore.” “Girl, just leave his sorry behind!”
“Hey mom, I need to talk to you about Monica.” “Well, I am always here. I knew there was something about her. Tell mama what’s going on.”
Of course, we all are familiar with the instances where our relationships experiences the testy times. But, is it always necessary to run to our bestie or a family member the moment things go awry? It is definitely understandable that some times venting is vital in feeling better or calming down when the emotions are heightened. Those who are closest to us are frequently the most vigilant about our relationships. However, seeking guidance or involving outside parties may not be what your relationship needs.
Often times, our best friends and family members are sure to keep our best interests at heart. A best friend will snatch her earrings off and grab the Vaseline before questions are even asked. When seeking advice, it may be difficult to truly gain a non biased opinion from someone who will only hear or understand your side of the argument. Sure, this is a plus in your favor, but in the grand scheme of it all how does this affect your relationship with your partner?
The common saying, “Mother knows best” may not be applicable in all circumstances. Family and friends are inclined to want what is best for you and have the tendency to guard your heart more carefully than you would yourself. This in turn could cause you to second guess your intentions or the intentions of your partner. If you are the party who has done something wrong, they are likely to not point that out. Truthfully, if you’re upset then so are they. You may never be able to see how your part in the situation played in the ordeal and may trigger only negative influences into your partnership.
Running to a friend with every negative situation could also affect the way they view the person you are with creating a solely negative perception. This could definitely cause unwarranted tension between them and your lover; making things beyond uncomfortable for you and your partner on the home front. Now your partner knows that you have been disclosing your personal issues with everyone and they know the dirt.
How many times has a mother told you, “What happens in this house, stays in this house!”?
However, I will state, many of us, including myself, at one point or another have been guilty of only going to that one person that will always take our side for benefits of making us feel less like the “bad guy”. We may have those friends that will keep it real with us and check us. Every little detail does not need to be shared especially if your intentions are to salvage your relationship.
Sure, we know our loved ones are coming from a good place with the precise objectives, but we are destined to find out for ourselves whether we see the storm coming or not. If the circumstances is potentially dangerous seeking counsel of our family is definitely important, but most times if you want to keep your relationship healthy leave the details to yourself!
Your relationship is simply between the two of you. No other person will understand the bond built between you. No one will understand the dynamics of your relationship and you should never involve another. No two relationships or situations are alike. The best person to discuss your relationship issues with is your partner you are with. An open line of communication with that person is imperative when it comes to growth and maturity as a couple.
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Hailing from McDonough, Ga, Jasmyn Santiago, is a thriving young professional who currently lives, works, plays in the home of “SouthernPlayalistiCadillacMusik”, where we are known for our southern drawl and HOTlanta is actually the best way to describe our summers!
The Georgia State University alum, is one who believes it through words that she will take the world by storm. Imprisoning all of her readers and captivating them by means of intriguing pieces of writing. No specific topic, just pure randomness.