“He loves me… He loves me not… He loves me… He loves me not,” most girls were pondering those two things while picking pretty flowers. But then we grow up and we figure out that love doesn’t really work that way. Love isn’t about superficial shit anymore; because at a certain change in your life love becomes the beginning of the next chapter with whoever got close enough to “woo” you. It becomes a beautiful next move to completing the circle you began. Now when I say it’s a next chapter, I certainly mean that you have the things you need; a great job or major moves toward it, stable living situation, spiritual bond with your higher power and other “grown” a** things.
We as people must establish what we want and go for it. We must be so focused on obtaining that thing that once we get it there is no other choice but to continue to hone in and perfect that thing. Well, why does obtaining a true love and friendship have to be any different? Want to find someone to be with you, appreciate you, value you what you offer, and to stay beside you through ups and downs? Then you must woo that person. I’m not talking about cheesy dates and spending big money. I am strictly talking about appreciating your partner and being their good friend. Be sure that as a lover that you are very much a friend as well. Be a listener; don’t be so quick to run your mouth when your lover is speaking. For once, actually listen; soak up what they have disclosed and try to empathize with how they feel. This step is taking it passed the traditional in one ear and out of the next. This means even when you as a person cannot foresee that what your lover is saying is the best options for your life that you may be able to see why it was for there’s and if it’s not altogether putting them in a dangerous position only offer words of advice unless they ask. Sometimes people just want to be heard.
Be a beacon of positive speech. Us ladies can sometimes be a bit much and we forget that our men are in a world of scrutiny everyday. Instead of being another source of loud cursing and commentating, be sure to reassure your lover that tomorrow will be a better day. Now of course everyday won’t be lilies and roses, there can be days when the sun breaks up some of those gloomy clouds. Woo your man by making sure that positive affirmations are given and maybe think some things up to relax him like a beer and football. Men, women sometimes needs that extra touch, because we lead lives that are filled with to-do list, budgeting, sexual tension, and drama from friends, foe, or work. Step up the wooing and run bath water, turn off both phones and talk, or attempt to make a nice meal. Wooing can be as simple as making each other’s lives easier and filled with compassion and love. Everything doesn’t have to be so difficult, but there must be steps toward a stronger bond everyday. Relationships are more than getting the tip wet and busting it open for your significant other; please allow your mind to open up to possibilities of spoiling your mate. Don’t spoil them and don’t receive, be damn sure that you are receiving the same treatment but woo your damn mate.
Here are a few of the Editor’s Ideas
1. One rose on the seat of her car with a note “Have a good day!”
2. Make a cup of coffee and their fave morning snack with a note, “Can’t wait to get home to you.”
3. Plan an entire picnic and put your phone and issues on hold.
4. Perform oral sex on a whim and make sure dinner is already laid out after.
5. Support them.
6. Plan a date a budget; that ensures that it’s special and intimate. (Don’t be too cheap!)
Stop playing the role as if you aren’t a prevalent factor in someone’s life. You probably are and if you are then don’t be another distraction but a positive force.
photo credit: neuronilla.com
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