How to Combat the Lies We Tell Ourselves

rushPeople lie. We lie to cover up our tracks, spare others from hurt, or simply because we don’t want to accept the truth. But, we lie to ourselves more than anyone else. And, the lies we tell ourselves cause us to be unproductive and unhappy.
At some point, we have to move past the lies we project on ourselves so we can stay on the path to our dreams. Often times, we say the following common-yet-detrimental phrases:

I’m Not Good Enough
What exactly does “good enough” mean? This is one of the most toxic statements a person can make to themselves. Don’t let societal pressures to be “perfect” and negative self-talk keep you from achieving your goals. The time you waste on downing your talents can be used to sharpen your craft and celebrate your accomplishments. So, every time you find yourself drawing comparisons between you and someone else, stop yourself in your tracks and redirect your focus.

There Are Not Enough Hours In the Day
Everyone has the same 24 hours. And many of us have to spend at least a portion of those hours doing something we don’t want to do (working a 9-5, sitting in traffic, etc.). But, if we truly want something bad enough, we will MAKE time for our desire. For example, are you complaining about not having time to blog, yet you spend an hour live tweeting your favorite reality TV show EVERY night? If so, change your behavior! Get up earlier or stay up later and do what you need to do. Make tangible and realistic to-do lists and stick to them. And, eliminate time wasted on activities that are not propelling you toward your goals.

I Can Change (insert person here)
No, you cannot change someone. People change because they make a conscious effort to behave in a different way. You cannot change your man, woman, momma, daughter, or any other person except yourself. You can talk to them and support them in the midst of their mess, but don’t drag yourself down by trying to do the impossible.

I’ll Do It Tomorrow
First of all, we are not promised tomorrow. People die every day and no one knows when their day is coming. Second, stop procrastinating! Tomorrow becomes the next day and before you know it, months and years have passed by and you’re no closer to your goals than you are right now. So, make small moves towards your goals each day and don’t let several “no-action” days pass you by.


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Tai Gooden is a freelance writer, mom, wife, part-time blogger and full-time Whovian. In April 2014, she published Amour Rising: A Collection of Poetry. She has written for xojane, BlogHer, HelloGiggles,,, MadameNoire, and Clutch Magazine. When Tai is not waiting for the TARDIS, she’s either on Twitter (@taigooden) or rambling on her blog,


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